and then one day, i felt the sky not move,
so i hung upside down like a bat
from under a leaf near the bishop’s balls,

i liked that moment of stillness.
for a second i felt what it was like to die
nothing moved
did i die?
ay!
un stomach cramp,
toda la sangre se me subió a la cabeza,
y mi cuerpo líquido empezó a tomar forma
oh mira q piernas,
alas de una nueva colección de gucci
q mi abuelita me mandó en un gene hace dos vidas,

me quede en este tiempo más q los demás.
anhelaba el sentirme así más

because i stayed in that form
longer than others
processing all the secrets the flowers hid in their buds
when i came out of my shell, to spread my wings like a bat
i was alone
and everyone was already flapping about
forming groups
playing games
y yo aguitado (bummed out)
thinking back to that first plop!

i flew and tried to catch up w the group,
when i arrived they teased me for being late,
and someone made a remark that my spots where different,
i told them it was the gucci handbag my nana sent me in a gene two lives ago
ahh es la gucci
jaja ja q gucci q nada
hay este salió rarito, medio extraño.

they had formed roles to perform,
patterns to follow, and i kept stumbling,
it seemed like they were doing it on purpose,
oh kiki, tu no eres una monarca real,
you are not a real monarch kiki!

that’s it
i couldn’t take it,
if i wasn’t a real monarch
then then…

i flew away

missing my fabulous flower friends,
they understood,

how boring would have been to keep flapping like the other Monarchs
i didn’t like their patterns anyways,

stomach cramp,
ay, i have not drunk anything in two days, i was flapping furiously in the opposite direction
and now i’m quivering and disoriented, lost and hungry,
i smelled something irresistible

and the sky stopped moving again,
it looks like it’s coming from a weird tulip
with a stem of water, clear, but not flowing,
in this red tulip (what i thought was a tulip from disorientation)
a pool of nectar,

sip!
gulp!
fling!✨
wow!

esto sabe familiar (y no es una caguama jeje!)
pero nunca lo e encontrado,
un sueño?
un recadito q las flores me dieron?
un hechizo?
probé un lugar familiar, me sentí como el microsegundo antes de el primer flop!

por un segundo me sentí así, y tomé más!
hay que bonito se sentía

this tastes familiar (yet unknown )

a little message from the flower buds,
a conjuring,
a dream
y que es lo q va pasar?
and what’s that you say it’s going to happen! gosh!
i tasted a familiar space
that microsecond before the first flop

oh how fabulous it felt.

i now knew where to go,
that there was a place from where funny looking tulips like this came
a familiar space,

and i took a few more sips!
uy, se me puso poquita borrosa,
my vision go a bit blurry,
the disorientation was still there,
mixed with all this new feelings

my heart beating like a crazy horse
overwhelming (anxiety?)
tranquila…

describe cinco cosas,
el aire se mueve de nuevo,
the sky is moving again,
i feel it caressing my wing,
i am standing in a funny tulip,
me paro en un tulipán cómico
that is true
breathe in
exhale
a book of leaves
un libro con ojalás
que dice
squint
disorientation
ay cabron esta ansiedad me está haciendo una broma,
what the hell! this anxiety is playing a prank on me,
yes i am disoriented, lol no need to let me know through visions,
but then i thought,
kiki you don’t have visions!
thump thump thump Thump

shake my head
squint again
*disidentifications

ohhh! disidentifications! que bonita la foto en ese libro.

suddenly, someone came near,

oMG!
this butterfly is siping on my aperol spritz!
awwww, pipiripheww! snaps a photo

aperol spritz ✨
what a funny name for a funny looking tulip

y el aire se movió y como desorientada, sin querer volé!

and the sky began to move faster this time and
i moved with it,
out of habit,
disoriented, disidentifying
but I loved how i was feeling
all the sensations
i must find this familiar place

i must find this field of funny looking tulips…